My Kind of Town

I'm all about providing public services and in that spirit I've conducted a bit of research for you, the public. If you've spent the last 6 - 9 months at a renaissance festival then you may not be aware that America's economy is in a wee bit of a funk. This funk was a long time in the coming for good ole US of A, but I think the onset of most of the tell tale signs of what some are calling a recession can be traced back to the day that the Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy. September 15th 2008. Now I've never met the Lehman Brothers and I'm sure they're very nice boys, but I hope their mother sat them down and gave them a firm talking to now that they've had a chance to see what they've done.

After that fateful day many financial indicators went spiraling downward and many continue to do so today. We all know of the chaos that has followed with Uncle Sam doing all of the bailing out and what not, since, the acts of the US Government and the members of the financial economy are endlessly being debated in boardrooms, bathrooms, bars, and bistros (decided to go with my patented "B" theme here). Everyone is chatting this topic up, blaming all kinds of people, Bush, and big business. The fancy pants economists get on the television and start yapping at us about all sorts of "key economic indicators," which supposedly gives us proof of the fact that we're headed for Brokville. They talk about interest rates, the housing market, gas prices, unemployment, etc.

Now I can tell you that I myself have fallen victim to the issues that plague this poor economy. My position with a reputable financial planning firm was eliminated at the end of 08. So as I sit here victimized!!!, my brain got to thinking about these economic indicators. I started thinking about the indicators that specifically affect my victimized brethren, and like a bolt of lightening it came to me (in all honesty a bolt of lightening has never come to me). Dry Cleaning!

I myself being a relatively average Joe don't typically utilize dry cleaning services, being that I own an iron and a washing machine. However, now that I'm in the soup line, I'm attending these "Job Interviews" which require the repeated use of a business suit. Said business suit tends to attract dirt, dog hair, etc., and needs cleaning. Said business suit can not be cleaned with an iron or washing machine. Enter dry cleaning. An expense that the average unemployed person only acquires once they become...unemployed. These are the types of economic indicators we should be concerned about. The kinds that are only going to dig us victims into deeper holes. Don't worry, I'm here for you.

Through the use of the most powerful tool known to man, Google, I've acquired the data you'll need when deciding where to be unemployed. After running a search on the the largest (population wise) cities in America, I randomly called a dry cleaner in each city asking for a price quote on a two piece business suit. The same two piece business suit that most men and women wear to a "Job Interview." Shirts and blouses (do women still call it that?) were left out as you should be able to iron those, slackers. I was quite surprised as to what the 10 most populous cities were, much less the price of dry cleaning; so, I'll present the largest cities first:

1. New York
2. LA
3. Chicago
4. Houston
5. Phoenix
6. Philadelphia
7. San Antonio
8. San Diego
9. Dallas
10. San Jose

I guess San Jose really does deserve a hockey team. My apologies. Now here are the cities ranked by their dry cleaning prices:

1. New York - $19.95
2. Dallas - $15.78
3. San Diego - $14.98
4. Phoenix - $12.85
5. San Antonio - $11.50
6. Philadelphia - $10.75
7. San Jose - $10.50
8. LA - $9.50
9. Houston - $9.99
10. Chicago - $7.80

The amazing part of this to me is that as far as I'm aware, dry cleaning is a pretty standard service. Could the dry cleaning you get done in NYC really be that much different/better than in Chicago? $12.15 better? I understand that there may be some outside factors such as soap, chemicals, power, water, rent, etc., but enough to increase the price of service over 100%!? You'd figure NYC could do it more cheaply being that they're also the largest city and would more than likely have the highest volume. Although I'm sure people in Dallas, Houston, San Anton, and Phoenix are sweating more. Maybe they need to get their suit cleaned more often. Chicago and Philly get snow, maybe they're gotta wash the salt of their pants more. It makes no sense to this Lehman (get it?).

Consider the public served. In conclusion you're better off being unemployed in Chicago because this additional expense that comes along with being unemployed comes at a bargain rate.

PS. In case you're wondering, Minneapolis? $10.49.